Book Report: "In the Name of Jesus" (Henri Nouwen)

Jenn McGarvey Blackston

jennifer.mcgarvey@mailbox.ciu.edu

MIN 5310

      In this book, Nouwen, focuses on two passages in Scripture- Matthew 4:1-11 (the temptation of Jesus in the desert) and John 21:15-19 (Jesus asking Peter, "do yo love me?"). As I was reading this book, I focused on the temptations of Jesus and how I could apply the truth to my life when I am tempted. I am so grateful that Christ was tempted in every way, just as I am, and yet was without sin. He understands the struggles of life and he knows what it is like to face hardship and have opportunities to throw in the towel and take the easier, more comfortable way out. This is a great book on leadership and knowing Jesus. "Jesus' first temptation was to be relevant: to turn stones into bread." (p. 30) Satan was basically challenging Christ to prove he was the Son of God by turning stones into bread. Instead, Jesus "clung to his mission to proclaim the Word" and said that man does not live on bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God. "The great message that we have to carry , as ministers of God's Word and followers of Jesus, is that God loves us not because of what we do or accomplish, but because God has created and redeemed us in love and has chosen us to proclaim that love as the true source of all human life." (p. 30) It is so easy and tempting to get caught up in performance and "doing things for God" and when I think that somehow that producing for God will cause him to love me more, I am missing the point. There is nothing wrong is doing things for God; the more important thing is being with God and knowing him more deeply. Martha was so caught up in service that she missed out on spending time with Jesus and learning from him. I want to be like Mary and not miss out on meeting with Jesus and knowing him more deeply!
      Before Jesus sent out Peter to tend to the flock, he asked him the question, "do you love me?" (John 21) Nouwen says, " We have to hear that question as being central to all of our Christian ministry because it is the question that can allow us to be, at the same time, irrelevant and truly self-confident." (p. 36) Christ is more concerned with our love for him and our faithfulness to him than he is about our results or how much we accomplish for him. Do we really know him? Is my goal in life to know Christ and make him known or am I working towards seeing how much I can produce for him? As leaders, we have so much to offer a hurting world! When we genuinely love God and seek to grow in our relationship with him, we can then offer the world a love that never fails- the love of Jesus. Apart from Jesus, we have nothing to offer. We can come alongside people and love them in such a way that it points them to the One who can touch and heal the deepest parts of their heart! One of the best ways in which I stay connected to the Vine is through prayer. Prayer keeps me dependent on Jesus and it serves to draw me into deeper intimacy with my Savior. It is vitally important for us as both believers and leaders to abide in Jesus and spend time with him through his Word and prayer. " Christian leaders cannot simply be persons who have well-informed opinions about the burning issues of our time. Their leadership must be rooted in the permanent, intimate relationship with the incarnate Word, Jesus, and they need to find there the source for their words, advice, and guidance." (p.45)
"When we are securely rooted in personal intimacy with the source of life, it will be possible to remain flexible without being relativistic, convinced without being rigid, willing to confront without being offensive, gentle and forgiving without being soft, and true witnesses without being manipulative." (p. 46-47) This life is all about Jesus! I need to guard my relationship with the Lord and allow his love to overflow and touch other people's hearts.


       Nouwen shed new light on Peter's commission by Christ. When he tells him to go feed his sheep, he was not sending this apostle out on his own. We often forget, especially in the Western culture, that we are not meant to do life alone. Christ sent his disciples out two by two. We need each other to sharpen, encourage, support, pray, love, etc. Nouwen points out that, "ministry is meant to be communal and mutual." (p. 58) I love this quote by Nouwen: " It is Jesus who heals, not I, Jesus who speaks words of truth, not I; Jesus, who is Lord, not I. This is very clearly made visible when we proclaim the redeeming power of God together. Indeed, whenever we minister together, it is easier for people to recognize that we do not come in our own name, but in the name of the Lord Jesus who sent us." (p. 59). A good reminder that we are not island unto ourselves, but we need one another to come alongside us in our journey of faith. We need to pray together, intercede for one another, hold each other accountable, confess our sins one to another, and encourage each other to keep pressing on in Jesus' Name! As a leader (and believer) am I allowing my brothers and sisters in the faith to challenge me and pray for me? Am I investing in my fellow sojourners or am I too caught up in my own agenda? Am I able to accept the help and support of others or do I attempt to minister alone? The closer I walk with Jesus, the more I realize how much I don't know and how much I need the body of Christ. And the more I love Jesus, the more I desire to love those around me. The world will know we belong to Jesus by how we love one another.

     Christ's third temptation was to be powerful. Satan showed him all the riches of the world and offered to it him. The catch was that Jesus would have to bow down and worship Satan. Jesus responded, "Away from me, Satan! For it is written: "Worship the Lord your God and serve him only." (Matthew 4:9) We fool ourselves into thinking that power, even "carried out in the name of Jesus" is a good thing. Christ, being fully God, is all-powerful, and yet; when he came to earth he emptied myself and did not view his equality with God something to be grasped. He humbled himself and became obedient, even to death on a cross. Why is power so alluring, yes, even to the Christian leader? Nouwen offers this insight: "Maybe it is that power offers an easy substitute for the hard task of love. It seems easier to be God than to love God; easier to control people than to love people; easier to own life than to love life." He goes on to say, "the temptation of power is greatest when intimacy is a threat." (p. 79) Wow- those words make me think! When I am tempted to control and not love, I need to have God search my heart and see what is lacking. Most likely, intimacy with Jesus would be lacking. Jesus came to serve, not to be served- oh that I would desire to do the same. As leaders, we can model how to serve by making sure that our relationship with Jesus is our over-arching priority!
      "Real theological thinking, which is thinking with the mind of Christ, is hard to find in the practice of ministry." (p. 86)  Whom and what influences my thinking? Am I influenced more by what my culture says or am I living out of the reality of the truth of God's Word? Do I read the Word to fulfill a "Christian obligation" or do I mine the treasure of the Word to know Jesus more deeply and to obey him as a direct result of me loving him? As a leader, do I try so hard to be relevant to my culture that I compromise on what Jesus says in the Word? May it not be so of me or any Christian leader who desires to point a hurting world to Jesus! " The Christian leader has to say no to the secular world and proclaim in unambiguous terms that the incarnation of God's Word, through him all things came into being, has made even the smallest event of human history into kairos, that is an opportunity to be led deeper into the heart of Christ." (p. 86) God's Word is the functional authority of our life and we need to line up the things we do in ministry with the Word and not compromise on truth for the sake of relevancy.

   I really enjoyed reading this book- it gave me lots to think about and process. I live, act, think in the name of Jesus. Does what I say about Jesus match up with how I live out my walk with Jesus? Do I love Jesus more than I love producing and performing for Jesus? Do I guard my time in the Word and my prayer life so I can grow in intimacy with my Savior? Do I allow my brothers and sisters in Christ to invest in my life; do I invest in my brothers and sisters? What and whom influences my thinking? Am I confessing my sins and repenting of them so my sin does not hinder my relationship with Jesus and my effectiveness in ministry? There are just some questions that come to mind as a result of reading this book.

5th Biblical Passage: Mark 2:27-28- Rest is God's Gracious Gift!

Jenn McGarvey Blackston

jennifer.mcgarvey@mailbox.ciu.edu

MIN 5310

2-10-11

Mark 2:27-28- Then he said to them, "The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath. So the Son of Man is Lord even of the Sabbath." The Sabbath was God's idea and he takes it seriously; even Jesus understood the idea of rest. 

I am going to quote Dr. King, from his book, "Time Management is Really Life Management", and then share some of my own thoughts concerning rest.

" There are some things that God wants to teach you that you can only learn when you are resting. You can only really learn grace when you are at rest. You can only experience the reality of God loving you just as much when you are intentionally non-productive as when you are "useful". Trusting God to provide for and sustain the investment made during your working hours as you  go "off the clock" can only be learned when you are resting." (p. 30) " We leak! We all expend strength, vitality, and focus as we work. Depletion is a gift from God to set limits for our lives. We bear the image of our Creator but we do not share his unlimited power and strength. God does not leak. We do. Some of us have been taught it is noble to be in a continual place of exhaustion from our service to God. That implies we are in danger of being more spiritual than God who prescribed rest." (p. 29) "Not working may be pictured as childlike play, in the best sense. Playing has no goal to achieve, or end to accomplish, but the play itself is the end." (p. 31)

When I was in undergrad at Toccoa Falls College, a typical Sunday went something like this: Go to sunday school, attend the church service, have lunch somewhere, hit the books, go to the evening service, study some more, and then go to bed. Monday would come around and I would wonder why I was so tired. Most of Saturday was also spent studying. I would actually feel guilty if I didn't study on Sunday- it just seemed as if there weren't enough hours in the day to get everything accomplished I "needed to do. I started my seminary career in the fall of 2007 and to my surprise, I found out that CIU encourages students not to study on Sunday. In my mind, I was thinking, "are you kidding me?" It was a foreign concept to me to not study on Sunday. At first, I have to admit, I did continue to study on Sunday. In time, I decided to give the whole "not studying" thing a try; what could it really hurt? It was a real struggle for me at first and I struggled with guilt. I was challenged when one of my friends pointed out that rest is productive; just not in the way I would normally view productivity. She challenged me to think about rest as a gift as opposed to a burden. I asked the Lord to help me rest in the moment and enjoy a day to just relax. After a few Sundays of not studying, I began to see the value of rest and it no longer seemed like a burden. The Lord began showing me that his love for me is not determined by how much I produce for him; he loves me the same whether I'm accomplishing something or whether I'm resting. Christ understood the value of rest and it was normal for him to get away by himself and spend time with the Father. I am learning to embrace the things that tend to my soul- listening to uplifting music, reading a book, blogging, taking time to enjoy God's creation, hanging out with my husband, spending time with "little people", watching a favorite show, etc. Rest recharges and renews us and as leaders we need to model resting to those under our care. I love the quote above of how rest is like child-play. If you ever need an example of what rest looks like, spend an afternoon with a child. Kids are fully present in the moment of play and they are not worried about accomplishing a task on their "to do list". They are engaged and everything is fun and exciting when they play. We have much to learn from children! We need to get away from the concept that rest in someway, makes us less in God's sight. He created the Sabbath and he knows how important it is for us to rest.We will burn out quickly if we don't begin to learn the value of resting. How are you resting today? What are the things you need to do to tend to your soul? These are just some of my thoughts on resting. I don't rest perfectly; I am learning how to rest and not allowing myself to feel guilty when I choose to obey. If you think about it, taking a Sabbath isn't a suggestion made by Christ; it's a command!

4th Biblical Passage: Proverbs 18:10

jennifer.mcgarvey@mailbox.ciu.edu

MIN 5310

2-8-11

Proverbs 18:10- "The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe." Psalm 121 talks about how our only help comes from the Lord, who is the maker of heaven and earth. It is easy when a friend is struggling to point out verses that might speak to their hurt. When done in appropriate ways, sharing the truth of Scripture can be a real comfort to the people in our lives. It is ironic to me that the very things which might comfort others, may not have the same affect on my life. Sometimes I find myself needing to recite to myself the verses that speak to my pain or struggle. I shared these verses of Scripture with a friend recently because I thought they would bring comfort to her heart in her time of need. The more I thought about the Lord being a strong tower, the more it dawned on me that I need to hear that truth. Lately, I have struggled with fear and I need to be reminded that my God is a strong tower and my refuge in time of need. God's Word is powerful and it speaks to our hearts and changes us from the inside out if we are willing to allow the Lord to work in our lives. I have decided that I need to write out verses on note cards that deal with fear and how to battle against it when it threatens to overwhelm me. My God is stronger than he who is in the world and I can find refuge in his strong and mighty arms. My help comes from the Lord and he is the Only One who can  speak into the deepest places of my heart. Today, he has used uplifting music and his word to speak to my heart. He also uses my husband and other friends and family to offer encouragement in my time of need. I am thankful to the Lord for his ever present care in my life and his great faithfulness! The verses that I am so quick to share with other people, I need to speak them back to myself. I think starting tomorrow, I will begin writing verses down and keep them with me so I can remind myself of my Savior's love and concern in my life!

2 Corinthians 1:3-4; Revelation 21:3-4

Jenn McGarvey Blackston

jennifer.mcgarvey@mailbox.ciu.edu

MIN 5310

2-3-11

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." (2 Corinthians 1:3-4) "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God.  He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." (Revelation 21:3-4)

I love both of these passages of Scripture; they are hope-filled and bring great encouragement to the heart that is willing to taste and see that the Lord is good! We have an unique opportunity as believers to offer hope to a hurting world and point them to the True Healer; our Prince of Peace! Pain is hard and often we don't understand why we are going through difficulties, but we don't have to grieve like the world does. We have hope because our hope is found in the person of Jesus Christ! Our Father in heaven is merciful and compassionate and he can comfort us in a way that no one else can. When we go through hard times and allow ourselves to be comforted by our gracious Lord, we can then offer that same comfort to others in their time of need. We can come alongside and offer hope. We can provide safe places for people to grieve and ask the hard questions. If they know Christ, we can encourage them to press on and press into Jesus and allow him to carry their burdens. Adversity and pain serves to draw us closer to Christ and it also softens our heart and allows us to show compassion to other people. We need to take heed to not offer quick solutions to pain and hardship. It is not helpful and oftentimes, serves to push people away as opposed to drawing them in. One of the best things we can do for people when they are hurting is to just be with them; we need to listen more than we talk! For those who don't know Christ, we can share the good news of Jesus Christ and pray that they too would taste and see the Lord is good. We need to listen and hear the stories of hurting people instead of being so quick to judge. John, in Revelation, has some awesome news to share with believers in Christ- one sweet day, there will be no more tears, pain, or death. He will make all things new! Jesus is the only One who can speak to the deepest and darkest places of our souls. He promises to never leave us or forsake us! As we receive his comfort, we can then share it with others and offer them hope. 

Biblical Passage: 2 Timothy 3:16-17- The importance of Scripture!

Jenn McGarvey Blackston

jennifer.mcgarvey@mailbox.ciu.edu

MIN 5310

1-31-11

2 Timothy 3:16-17 says, "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work."

Dr. McQuilkin, in his book, "The Five Smooth Stones" has this to say about Scripture: "To get anywhere with God's purposes through his church, the leaders and congregation must take seriously the responsibility to bring every aspect of ministry under the functional authority of Scripture- every new idea, every old tradition, every activity, every plan. Otherwise it will fail. It won't be easy. Diligent, objective, thorough Bible research combined with determined full compliance and eternal vigilance are the essentials." (p. XIV) He goes on to say that, "the Bible alone, the whole of it, is our ultimate authority for faith and practice." (p. 1)

In our post-modern age, it is essential to keep going back to the authority of Scripture so we don't lose our way in an era of "anything goes." In order to be equipped for ministry, we must study and apply the truth of the Word to every aspect of our lives. Paul, in his letter to his son in the faith, Timothy, exhorts him to "continue in what you have learned, and how from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus." (2 Timothy 3:14-15) We live in a society where even preachers and Bible teachers are questioning the relevance of Scripture and are preaching and teaching about it less and less. They fear appearing inauthentic and they have allowed culture, not the Word, to dictate how they think and act. I don't mean to imply that we don't teach the Bible without any regard for the audience to which we are speaking. There is a place for relevance as long as we don't water down the truth of the Word for the sake of appeasing those listening. We also need to make sure that we are teaching the hard sayings of Jesus and not simply focusing on the more comfortable topics such as love or mercy. Both love and mercy are important and essential to the Gospel; justice and holiness are also important and vital. We also realize the importance of depending on the Holy Spirit to equip us to share the Word powerfully and effectively. God's Word is living and active; it can transform lives as the Spirit brings about conviction and encouragement in our lives. As leaders, we must guard our time in the Word so we can become more like Jesus and grow in our understanding of the Word. It is much easier to teach and/or preach the Word if we are studying it for ourselves and applying God's truth to our lives. We also must take heed to make sure that any activity or ministry we do lines up with the Word and does not go against Biblical teachings. There also needs to be a balance between evangelism and social justice. We are called to share the message and hope of Jesus to all in our circle of influence and beyond. We need to pray that more and more people will come to know Christ as both Lord and Savior. We are also called to show mercy and compassion- to care about justice and fight against injustice. The Word helps to give us the eternal perspective and not go to one extreme or the other. I heard a friend say one time that "God's Word is the purest source of life for us." We come to know the Living Word, Jesus, better when we study it and apply the Word to our lives. We have a responsibility, as leaders, to stay true to the Word and teach it to others. It protects us from false teachings and has the power to transform lives as the Holy Spirit convicts,encourages, exhorts and guides. God's Word is our final authority and it teaches us how to act and think. Let us boldly proclaim the truth of God's Word both in the body of Christ and to those who don't know Christ. The Word will not come back void; God will accomplish his purposes and we have the joy of working with him to see lives transformed by the life changing message of the Son of God- Jesus Christ!

Biblical Passage- Luke 11:1-2- Christ's Teaching on Prayer

Jenn McGarvey Blackston

jennifer.mcgarvey@mailbox.ciu.edu

MIN 5310

1-31-11

I chose this passage in Luke because I believe prayer is vital to our relationship with Christ as believers and also to our ministries. Prayer keeps us dependent on God instead of attempting to do things in our own strength. We must be careful not to pray with the wrong motives or use prayer as a way to try to manipulate the Lord. The disciples come to Jesus in this passage and ask him to teach them how to pray.

Luke 11:2-4 has this to say: He said to them, "When you pray, say: "Father, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come. Give us each day our daily bread. Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us. And lead us not into temptation."

Prayer is not a means to get something from God; it's an ongoing conversation where we acknowledge who God is and we give him the honor due his name. We ask for his will to be done in our lives and in the lives of those in our circle of influence and beyond. We ask for his provision and we trust him in every aspect of our lives. Forgiveness is something we all need and prayer is our avenue to confess our sins to the Lord and repent from them. We receive his forgiveness as we also forgive those who sin against us. In prayer, we recognize we live in a broken world and we understand that Satan is prowling around looking for someone to devour; we ask the Lord to lead us not into temptation and deliver us from evil. We're not asking God to take us out of this world, but we are seeking his face to help us be in this world, but not of it. So often, we use prayer as a last resort or when we've run out of our resources. It's as if we expect God to simply agree to the plans we've already set in motion; we just want his blessing. Prayer keeps us humble upon a holy and righteous God. In Exodus 33:15, Moses cried out to the Lord and said, "If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here." Moses recognized that without the Lord, the task at hand was impossible. The things that are impossible for man are possible with God. We are working with God to accomplish his purposes in our lives and in the lives of those in our circle of influence. If God is not in control of our lives and our ministries, why would we ever want to move forward? His thoughts and ways are higher than ours and not our own; He knows best and he can do immeasurably more than anything we could ever think of or even comprehend! As leaders, we need to model the importance of prayer in our own lives and then teach others how to pray. God responds to the prayers of his people; he may not always answer in the way we desire, but he will always answer in a way that brings him glory and in a way that grows us in our walk with him! Prayer should encompass everything we do; it shows our dependence on and trust in the Lord. "Not to us, O Lord, not to us but to your name be the glory, because of your love and faithfulness." (Psalm 115:1) May that be the cry of our hearts and it may be the passion that fuels our lives and ministries!

How to Communicate Change

Jenn Blackston

jennifer.mcgarvey@mailbox.ciu.edu

1-21-11

Change is hard; change is also a normal and necessary part of life. The ways in which we communicate change should reflect the heart of our Father. We need to approach change with a heart of humility and extend grace to people as we go through change. Change always involves some form of conflict and leaders need to honestly share that with those whom they are serving. Repentance is all about a change; a change of heart- a turning from something and making a different choice. We have a choice when dealing with change; we can trust the Lord as we go through it and have a spirit of humility or we can resist it and not allow the Lord to work through the changes of life. We have a responsibility as leaders to model how to handle change and to help walk the people in our circle of influence through it so that we can all grow in faith and maturity.

Grieving

Jenn Blackston

jennifer.mcgarvey@mailbox.ciu.edu

1-21-11

Grief is a necessary and messy part of life. Too often, we try to make the pain go away or we offer unhelpful suggestions on how to "get over" the losses of life. Sadly, the church doesn't always do a good job of coming alongside its people who are hurting. If we never face honestly our own pain, how in the world will we ever be able to enter in to someone's pain? When we face our pain and receive the comfort the Lord desires to give us, we can in turn comfort others with that same comfort. One sweet day, we will grieve no more! Jesus grieved so why is it so hard for the body of Christ to grieve and to extend that grace and mercy to other hurting people? We grieve but not as the world grieves; we grieve with hope. The church has an unique opportunity to testify of the love of Jesus by showing the body of Christ and those yet to know him by providing safe places for folks to grieve. Honest presence with people is one of the best gifts we can give to them in their time of suffering. We don't need to have all the answers; we love them and point them to Jesus and oftentimes, the best thing we can do is simply BE with the person who is hurting. I want to be a leader who grieves well in my own life and provides a safe haven for others to also grieve well.

Unity and Purity

Jenn Blackston

jennifer.mcgarvey@mailbox.ciu.edu

1-21-11

"Unity is not the absence or the avoidance of conflict. Unity is expecting times of conflict and committing to listen, forgive, and stand together in fighting FOR the relationship. Unity is not simply peace. Peace can be reduced to avoiding engaging in open conflict and yet still be emotionally distant and cold." (Dr. King)

I love the emphasis in this quote on fighting FOR the relationship. It says that you value the relationship enough to do the hard work necessary to protect it and to grow in grace and truth together. It is much easier to avoid and hide from conflict than to face it head on. Conflict gives us opportunity to show the grace and love of Jesus to one another and to also grow in humility. Conflict helps us to see life from another perspective. Conflict done well leads us down a road to intimacy. As leaders we can model how to handle conflict and provide safe places for people to journey through this messy, beautiful life together.

Humility

Jenn Blackston

jennifer.mcgarvey@mailbox.ciu.edu

1-21-11

God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble! A simple statement and oh so powerful. Pride is at the root of most sins, if not all of them. Pride says, "I know best and I will do it my way." It is refusing to submit oneself to those in position of authority and it is rebellion against God. We are called and commanded to live in humility; however, so often we are driven by fear, lust, control, pride, etc. Pride, for the believer, seems to manifest itself in the inner workings of the heart more than it does blatantly for all to see. There are times when we intentionally refuse to bow down to the Lordship of Christ and there are other times when we unintentionally choosing to ignoring God. We forget about the fact that God is sovereign and good and so we attempt to live life in our own power. Dr. King lists three land mines of pride- "rebellion is the pride of intentional choosing an idol because I want to choose my own God; drifting is the pride of the unintentional fatigued drifter; and unbelief is pride covered over with fear and worry." I find myself often dealing with the latter 2 forms of pride. Lord, search me, try me, and expose the prideful attitudes of my heart. May I walk in humility like Jesus did and trust you in each moment of my day. You are God and I am not and I bow in submission to your Lordship.

What is God wholehearted about?

Jenn Blackston

jennifer.mcgarvey@mailbox.ciu.edu

1-20-11

What does it mean to be wholehearted?  What drives me? What are my motivations and attitudes of the heart? I desire to care about the things God cares about and live in the reality of his perspective. What am I focused on and what do I value? Only God knows my true motives; the heart is deceitful above all else and I need him to search my heart and test my attitudes. What are the things God cares about? To be honest, it has been a long, exhausting day and my brain feels fuzzy. I want to reflect more on the concept of being wholehearted and allow the Lord to reveal to me the areas in my life that need to change so I can have his perspective!

Making Disciples of Jesus- Perspective

Jenn Blackston

jennifer.mcgarvey@mailbox.ciu.edu

1-20-11

We need to focus on the heavenly perspective while being aware of the earthly perspective. What is the goal in making disciples? Are we just in the business of making converts or do we desire to journey with other believers for the purpose of growth and maturity? Are we sharing our faith with people out of obligation or because we take seriously the commands to love God with all our hearts and love others as ourselves? Are we giving fellow believers freedom to struggle, grieve, and fail in order to grow or are we simply concerned with outward appearances? These are just some questions that come to mind when thinking about perspective. We need to remember that we are not alone in our desire to make disciples; the Holy Spirit is with us always; he is guiding, directing, correcting, equipping, convicting, exhorting, etc.

How does the Gospel spread?

Jenn Blackston

jennifer.mcgarvey@mailbox.ciu.edu

1-20-11

This article actually brought to mind the message Dr. Harvey taught in chapel the other day. The Scripture passage he used was Acts 8:26-40 and he talked about the characteristics of a prepared heart. He talked about ways in which we can tell if someone might be interested in the Gospel. A prepared heart is a heart that seeks God. The eunuch in Acts 8 was in Jerusalem worshiping. A prepared heart studies Scripture or at least reads things about spirituality. This gives us an open door to share the Gospel. A prepared heart receives instruction. The eunuch, not understanding what he was reading asked Philip to explain the Scriptures to him. And finally, a prepared heart responds to truth. As soon as the eunuch saw water, he wanted to be baptized. He was ready to follow Jesus and then publicly declare him to be a follower. One way to spread the Gospel is to be aware of those around us and what they are seeking after. Dr. Harvey didn't limit his message simply as a litmus test to discover if someone has a prepared heart; he also asked the believers in the room if we had prepared hearts. I think the first part of spreading the Gospel is for the believer to seek God, study the Scriptures, receive instruction (from God, friends, mentors, classes, etc.), and respond to truth. This mindset puts our focus on the Gospel and we are better able to share the Gospel when we ourselves are seeking a deeper relationship with God. I was really challenged by the message Dr. Harvey brought to chapel; I am still mulling it over today. Acts 8 is a good example of someone being prepared to know Jesus and an example of someone prepared to share the good news of Jesus with another person.

The Spirit as God's Gracious Provider

Jenn Blackston

jennifer.mcgarvey@mailbox.ciu.edu

1-20-11

When Jesus was meeting with his disciples in his last days before his death, he promised to leave them a Counselor to be with them always. It was like dropping a bomb shell on the disciples to tell them that Christ would no longer be with them. He allowed them to wrestle with the concept of having to live for Jesus without him being physically present. The disciples cannot live for Christ on their own and neither can we today. There are so many blessings that are given us through the working of the Holy Spirit. The article lists several, which I will include below:

1. His constant, personal, powerful indwelling presence.

2. Being marked by the Spirit; identified as God's children.

3. Granted the authority to freely make requests of the Father in his name.

4. Going to the ends of the earth and yet quickly recognizing and bonding with other Christ followers in an unexplainable unity that is similar to the oneness of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

5. Sparks of creative illumination in their minds as humble followers seek his wisdom, involvement in and discernment to solve problems and face challenges.

6. A whole array of grace fueled gifts entrusted to every believer giving them a contribution to God's cause and the welfare of their spiritual community.

7. A taste of their inheritance that they will anticipate enjoying with him at his return.

I so appreciate the work of the Holy Spirit in my life, but I struggle with yielding and trusting more often than I would like to admit. I love that He is always with us and that he both encourages and convicts us. My prayer is that I will become more and more sensitive to the Spirit's leading and that I will be trust more deeply.

What is a Healthy Church?

Jenn (McGarvey) Blackston

MIN 5310

jennifer.mcgarvey@mailbox.ciu.edu

1-18-11

What is a healthy church? In my opinion, a healthy church is a safe haven; a place where people (from any walk of life) can come and be accepted for who they are. A healthy church is a place where the Bible is seen as the functional authority and where the Word is preached in such a way that it draws people to Jesus. A healthy church is a place where discipleship is emphasized and lived out in the body. A healthy church is a place where sin is addressed and confronted and yet, the people are not judged. A healthy church is one where people can journey through life together and impart both grace and truth to each other. We are able to love people only when we first receive from God and are fully present. As we allow the Lord to work in our hearts, we are then able to offer hope and  love to those around us. A healthy church is one where people are free to be themselves and are also free to use the gifts and abilities the Lord has given to them. There are many other things I could say about a healthy church, but those are just some of my thoughts. There is no such thing as a perfect church since we are all broken and in need of both a Savior and Lord. We have an unique opportunity to point people to Jesus and we need to come together as one body so that we can be a light to a hurting world.

Leading by Revisiting Good Questions

Jenn (McGarvey) Blackston

MIN 5310

jennifer.mcgarvey@mailbox.ciu.edu

1-18-11

I appreciated this article dealing with questions. One of Jesus' favorite ways of teaching came in the form of questions. He didn't simply answer a question or solve a problem right away. Often, he would ask a question to get the person he was interacting with to think about what was going on and come up with some sort of response. Asking questions of ourselves and others gives us opportunities to wrestle with our motives and our responses when situations come up. Asking questions also brings about growth as we are willing to live out our lives as learners and not just people who have to acquire all the right answers. Am I seeking after the Lord or simply my own agenda? Am I being sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit? Asking questions helps me evaluate myself in how I'm doing in certain areas of my life.

Women and Leadership

Jenn (McGarvey) Blackston

MIN 5310

jennifer.mcgarvey@mailbox.ciu.edu

1-18-11

I found this article to be informative and challenging. Women in leadership has always been such a controversial topic.  It is good to be exposed to the various views. It is something, as a woman, that I do struggle with from time to time. I believe that women are created equally by God and are given gifts and talents to be used for his glory. I do not believe this topic is one of the essentials of our faith. I would imagine in a class as big as ours, there are various opinions on the subject. We need wisdom and discernment as we wrestle with this tough topic. We must take steps to take it under the functional authority of the Word and be sensitive to the Spirit's leading.

Time Management is Life Management

MIN 5310

Jenn Blackston

1-15-11

jennifer.mcgarvey@mailbox.ciu.edu

 

MIN 5310

Jenn Blackston

jennifer.mcgarvey@mailbox.ciu.edu

1-15-11

Time Management is Really Life Management

I found this book to be very insightful and practical. I look forward to working through the study guide and come up with a workable plan to maximize both my work and my rest. Bobby Clinton said that “leadership is about perspective.” I appreciated the perspective outlined in this book. It was an easy read and at the same time, thought provoking. “They (good leaders-emphazise mine) truly feel the pain and cost of a course of action, but press on with the journey with God-centered hope.” (p. 13) “God has assigned us to the present. We love or hate in the present. We trust or fear in the present. We give our take in the present. Our choices in the present shape and reveal the motives of our heart.” p. 15) I start off with these quotes because of the perspective they provided on time and motives.

I have often wondered how we, as Christians, are supposed to balance the whole work and rest concept. Sometimes I think that we have it all wrong; take pastors for example: they work hard all week doing things such as; counseling, administration work, sermon preparation, hospital visits, funerals, weddings, etc. and then on Sundays, they preach one, maybe two or three sermons, and barely have time to rest during the afternoon. This is not passing judgment on pastors, but sometimes I think we have neglected and/or forgotten that God created us to work for six days, then rest on the seventh day. We often put higher expectations on ourselves that even God does because we are trying to micro- manage everything and everyone that concerns us. “Rest is a space that God gives us when we are removed from the expectations to be productive.” (p. 30) “Not working may be pictured as childlike play, in the best sense. Playing has no goal to achieve or end to accomplish, but the play itself is the end.” (p. 31) I love that illustration because it gives a much needed perspective on the whole concept of rest. We, and I include myself in this statement, feel guilty when we are not doing something productive. “Rest is God's gracious gift to us.” (p. 16) “God's rhythm exposes our fear of failure and our prideful carrying of responsibility that only God is strong enough to handle.” (p. 33) We think we can handle much more than what God actually requires of us. If I don't make time for solitude, I become weary and my energy is depleted, and as a result, I have nothing left to offer others. I purposefully get together with friends simply for the pleasure of their company. Balance is a necessary part of life and God created us for both work and rest. I conclude with this anonymous quote:

This is the beginning of a new day.

God has given me this day to use as I will.

I can waste it or use it for good,

But what I do today is important

Because I am investing a day of my life for it.

When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever,

Leaving in its place something I have traded for it.

I want it to be gain and not loss, good and not evil,

Success and not failure,

In order that I shall not regret the price I have paid for it.

The above quote makes me pause to consider how I spend my time. Every day is a gift from the Lord and I am not guaranteed tomorrow. Everything I do is for the glory of God and I do not want to waste a single moment of today.

Capacity and Self-Leadership

Physical-This year I have experienced headaches, neck and back pain and it became very frustrating and discouraging. I was having trouble sleeping and that took a toll on me, not just physically, but emotionally, and spiritually. I ended up going to a chiropractor and now I'm on a treatment plan for the next few months. I have definite seen improvement, which is encouraging. The Lord is teaching me greater dependence on him. My husband has been a constant source of encouragement and I am so grateful for him. Walking helps to calm anxiety and it also provides me with much needed solitude. I love talking to the Lord while I'm walking, especially when I'm out in his creation.
Mental- I take time to read something everyday. In addition to reading the Bible, I also read fiction and non-fiction books. I love to stretch my mind and challenge my thinking. I love talking with my husband about all sorts of topics. One of my favorite things to do is discuss theology with others who enjoy it as much as I do.
Emotional- I am learning how to grieve well. I used to withdraw and hide away from pain and struggle. I would throw myself into my school work as a way to push the pain deep inside. All it did was cause greater struggle and I began opening up to close friends and mentors. i am more willing now to be honest and open about my struggles. It is freeing to be able to share my heart with safe people- my husband, my family, my close girlfriends, and my mentors. The Lord is my closest friend and the One who can bring lasting healing and comfort to my heart. I am learning how to cry out to him with all my deepest fears and struggles. he is incredibly gracious and compassionate!!
Social-I am intentional in relationships- God, my husband, my family, my friends. I make investing in others a priority and I am intentional in making Jesus my greatest priority! I love him more than anyone here on earth and I am growing in my love and devotion to him. An area where I need to experience growth is in confrontation. I do confront when needed, but it's really difficult for me.
Spiritual- I know and believe that God is sovereign and good. I know and believe that he is faithful and just. I am learning to live in a state of gratitude. My vision gets blurred and I become blinded when I gripe and complain instead of being thankful. I need to thank him everyday for what he did for me on the Cross, my salvation, my adoption, my standing and identity in Christ, etc. I have every spiritual blessing in Christ, plus he blesses me with so many gifts- a godly husband, a close-knit family, and an amazing support system.

Making Disciples

I am choosing to focus in on one question from this article in the area of spiritual disciplines. Which spiritual discipline do I want to grow in over the next 3 months and how will I implement growth?
The discipline that I desire to grow in is reading and studying the Bible. I would also include in this discipline the habit of keeping a journal. I appreciate all the reading and writing we are required to do for this class because it getting back into writing on a regular basis. I also am an avid reader and love learning. I have struggled to be consistent in reading and studying the Bible off and on over the last several years. One thing that helps me stay more focused is engaging the text is through writing. I enjoy interacting with the text and writing down insights and observations, along with prayers. If I miss a day or two of reading the Word, it is hard for me to get back in the game. I definitely feel off-kilter when I'm not mining the treasure of God's Word. Over the next 3 months, I want to develop a system of intentionally setting aside adequate time to read, study, and wrestle with the truth of Scripture. I also want to include time for reflection, through writing and also listening to worship music. For me, I don't do well studying the Bible early in the morning because it takes me awhile to fully come awake and I would have a harder time staying engaged. Late morning or afternoon seem to be the best time for me to be in the Word. I will make a chart and write down specifically when I'm going to spend time reading, studying, writing, and listening to music and stick to those times. I understand there are times in life when one must make exceptions, so I will make sure to come up with alternate times to be in the Word. I will share my chart with my husband so he can encourage me to keep being in the Word a top priority for me during the day. I will also let a few of my close girlfriends know and ask them to keep me accountable. Writing down my schedule will help keep me on task and focused. I am someone who needs structure, but I have to be careful not to become too rigid or legalistic. I don't want to read the Word because I feel obligated, but because I love Jesus and desire to grow in my relationship with him. The best way to do that is through studying His Word and applying truth to my life. The truth is often lived out within the context of relationships and I want to share what I'm learning with  my husband a few close friends. I also don't want to buy into the lie that says that I can somehow earn God's favor by reading the Word. I am fully accepted by the Father and his love for me never changes. The more I spend time with God through his Word, the more I understand where my true identity comes from. I am his child and he delights in me.

Prayer and the Holy Spirit

One of my passions is prayer and I love to intercede for other people! I did my undergrad studies at Toccoa Falls College in northeast Georgia and it was there, that I started to become passionate about prayer. My freshman year was a very dark and difficult time in my life and I felt like I was barely holding onto my faith. The Lord was merciful and surrounded me with godly friends and mentors who came alongside me and helped to bear the tremendous burdens I was facing. They listened to me, prayed with and for me, and made themselves available to me. Through their example, I learned so much about the power of prayer. I love praying with and for people; I also love talking to the Lord throughout my day. The Lord often will place a person on my heart and I will stop and pray, no matter the time of day. Sometimes I will wake up in the middle of the night and pray; I don't always know who I need to pray for or what the needs might be, but I pray anyway.One of the things I learned while at Toccoa and also here at CIU is praying in the moment. For example, if I'm talking to a friend and they ask for me to pray; I often will ask if I can pray for them right then and there. They, in turn, often respond positively and it encourages them to know someone is praying for them. I have been guilty in the past of saying I'll pray for someone and then walk away and forget to pray. I have countless opportunities to pray for people, both those that know Jesus and those who do not have a relationship with him. I don't want to miss an opportunity to pray. My friends know if they need someone to pray for something, they can come to me. I am blessed to have a husband and godly friends who take the time to pray with and for me. One of the things that can hinder my prayer life is distraction. Another hindrance is selfishness; when I get wrapped up in my life and concerns or when I'm simply complacent in my walk with the Lord, my prayer life becomes less and the worries of my heart increase. When that happens, I must confess it, repent of it, and ask the Lord to help me to keep my mind focused on him so that I, in turn, can keep the right perspective. Prayer is powerful and effective and I never want to lose my passion for praying and seeing the Lord work in my life and in the lives of those around me.

God's Spirit helps God's people endure

A.W. Tozer has this to say about endurance: "What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us...This is true not only of the individual Christian, but of the company of the Christians that compose the Church. Always the most revealing thing about the Church is her idea of God, just as the most significant message is what she says about Him or leaves unsaid, for her silence is often more eloquent than her speech."
"Our endurance does not require that we make all of the doubts go away, or get answers to all our questions, but in letting our heart rest in hope on God's good and loving heart." The concept of endurance makes me think of the passage in Hebrews, in which the writer exhorts the church to not throw away its confidence.
As I was reading this article, I was thinking back to the time the Lord confirmed his call on my life to pursue a career in counseling. I came to CIU with a degree already picked out and I had some ideas of what I could do with it. I started off pursuing an MDIV in Academic Ministries and thought I would teach in a Bible college someday. I have always enjoyed teaching and godly people in life have affirmed that gifting in my life. In my second year, I took Ministry of Counseling and it started me down a new academic and vocational path. The Lord did so much in my heart that semester and I began to seriously consider whether I should switch my degree to pastoral counseling. I sought the Lord, talked with mentors, and godly friends, and then decided to take two counseling classes the next semester. Within a few weeks of being in the classes, I took the necessary steps to change my degree. I desire to use my gifts in teaching, counseling, and discipleship to offer hope to a hurting world. My husband is a chaplain here in Savannah and our abilities and gifts complement each other and I'm excited about ministry opportunities we will have as a married couple. Our passion for the Lord, love for people, and desire to see folks know Jesus and make him known will serve us well personally and in the lives of those around us. He is so supportive of the calling Jesus has made on my life and I am so proud of him for using his talents and gifts for Jesus' Name Sake.

What's God's will for the heart of every disciple?

Faith- always calls for trust, risk, and turning 'from' in order to 'turn' to- opposite of faith is fear
Hope- calls out endurance, faithfulness and a persevering heart- pursues process of transformation into the image of Christ and is watchfully prepared for his return- opposite of hope is quit
Love- gives 'up' in order to be giving 'to'- the lover seems almost unaware of of the cost of what is being given up because of the passionate devotion and desire to give to- opposite of love is lust
God, in his sovereignty, uses every person, every event, and every circumstance as part of his customized workout routine to grow, faith, hope and love.- excellent thoughts, Dr. King!
 I like the descriptions of faith, hope, and love and also what is in direct opposition to them. How am I living in light of faith, hope, and love? I'm afraid of rejection, failure; I begin to lose hope when I feel helpless or discouraged; and I don't always love well because I'm too concerned with myself and what is going on around me. I am growing in faith as I choose to seek the Lord, repent of my fear, and walk forward in boldness and victory. I am growing in hope as I take time to look back over my life, and remind myself that the same God who was faithful to me in the past will remain faithful in the present and in the future. I am growing in love as I say no to self-centered living, and embrace others as a way of being a blessing to them and pointing them to Christ.

Introduction and Assessment

 Introduction and Assessment
 This article poses lots of questions and it challenges my thinking. What are my priorities in life, relationships, and ministry? Am I walking in light of an eternal perspective or am I allowing the cares of the world to cloud my vision? Am I willing to face difficult situations and people honestly or am I avoiding dealing with reality? It helps to look back over my life and see how the Lord has changed me and brought me into deeper intimacy with him. Am I sensitive to the needs of others or am I too wrapped up in my own concerns? These are just some of the questions that came to mind as I was reading this introductory article. I am thankful for God's grace and mercy in my life. I am also thankful that he loves me just the way I am, but corrects me when I get off course. Life lately has been a mixture of great joy and deep discouragement. I have wrestled with the Lord and questioned his timing. I have seen him answer my prayers far beyond what I even could have imagined or thought possible! I am grateful for the hard times because it humbles me and causes me to become more dependent on the God who sees, hears, and knows me! He is the Great I Am and he is working out his purposes in my life.

Five Smooth Stones

I found the reading of this book to be both encouraging and challenging. I appreciate how McQuilkin outlines the five smooth stones, or essential principles, for Christ-centered ministry. Each of the five- the Bible, the church, the Holy Spirit, the plan of redemption, and the Lordship of Christ are crucial principles in order to have fruitful, effective ministry. The most important principle of all is the Lordship of Christ. Every Christian must submit to the Lordship of Christ at salvation, but also in the process of sanctification. Christ is the one who reigns and rules in our lives and failure to do so as individuals and as the body of Christ will lead to failure in ministry.  In order to lead well, we must first become good followers. "To the extent that he is Lord in their lives and ministry, to that extent will the church be united and pure, bringing about the fulfillment of all the purposes God has for the congregation" (p. XIV).  It is hard at times to bow in surrender to the Lordship of Christ and I must evaluate my walk with the Lord in light of his Lordship and his Word. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 says, "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God can be thoroughly equipped for every good work."

I appreciate how McQuilkin shared illustrations from his own life and ministry to highlight the five smooth stones. It is encouraging to hear how the Lord works in others lives and it challenges me to my walk with Jesus. God uses our brothers and sisters in Christ to sharpen us and help us grow in our relationship with him.
I need to be willing to allow others to speak in my life for the purpose of my growth; and I have the same responsibility to look out for them. We are not islands unto ourselves; we need each other to carry out the tasks God has called us to and also to encourage the body to keep pressing on to know the Lord and serve those around us.

The first part of the book deals with making the Bible the functioning authority for our lives and ministry. In an age where "anything goes", we must guard our time in the Word even more jealously! We have a responsibility to make sure that any ministry we do is aligned with Biblical truth. We must carefully study the Scriptures and seek the Holy Spirit's guidance as we work in ministry. The Gospel has the power to change lives and we are responsible to be good stewards. We have a hope filled message to share and we need to be bold in our lives and in our ministries. In our postmodern age, we must share Biblical truth in such a way that people can grasp it. This does not mean that we water down truth for the sake of relevancy. Jesus has some hard things to say in his Word and we do the world a disservice when we gloss over difficult concepts, commands, and principles. I really enjoyed reading this book and plan on using it as a ministry resource. 

"Emotionally Healthy Church" Review

MIN 5310

Jenn Blackston

jennifer.mcgarvey@mailbox.ciu.edu

"Emotionally Healthy Church" is a great read and there are so many principles and applications that really stood out to me. For the sake of this assignment, I will only focus in on two principles that impacted me.

Part three of this book discusses the seven principles of an emotionally healthy church. Principle one deals with looking beyond the surface and becoming emotionally authentic;  principle three focuses on receiving the limits God places on us to make us more effective in our personal walks with him and also our ministry involvement.

In the chapter dealing with principle one, Scazzero starts off by writing, "In emotionally healthy churches, people take a deep, hard look inside their hearts, asking, "What is going on that Jesus Christ is trying to change?" In our churches today, few Christians take the time to reflect on what is going on internally and focus more on the external things of the Christian life. We focus in on the the spiritual disciplines- prayer, reading the Word, fasting, solitude, etc., but we fail to allow the Lord to change us from the inside out. We do not allow the Lord to transform us and set us free from the chains that bind us.. We think that all we need to do is grow and change is by staying busy, going to church, teaching Bible study, having an active prayer life, and spending 15 minutes a day or so in the Word. We are missing a vital component to our walks with Christ when we fail to look beyond what others can see and allow the Lord to meet us in the secret places of our souls. God often uses the pain and trials in our lives to cause us to depend on him so that we can grow in our relationship with him. "The gospel says you are more sinful and flawed than you ever dared believe, yet you are more accepted and loved than you ever dared hope because Jesus lived and died in your place." (p. 83) The gospel changes lives and Christ cares most about the condition and attitudes of our hearts. It can be scary to take a deeper look at ourselves, but it is freeing when we surrender to the Lord's working in our lives. If we are not emotionally healthy and honest about our pain and shortcomings, how can we effectively impact those around us with the hope of the gospel? This chapter challenges me to not be afraid to take an honest look at what is going on inside me. I cannot change on my own; I need the power and love of Christ to change me from the inside out. 

Chapter 8, which deals with the principle of limits is the one that stood out to me the most during the reading of this book. I really appreciate how the author shares how limits are actually freeing to us in our ministry and in our persona lives. "While our culture resists the idea of limits, it is critical that we embrace them. They are like a like a fenced-in yard that protects young children. They are the hands of a friend, keeping us grounded so that we don't hurt ourselves, others or God's work." (p. 146) The author writes about how to discern our limitations. We are not called to do everything. We have to be able to discern when to say no when faced with a decision as it relates to both our ministry and our personal lives. At the same time, sometimes we are limited by flaws in our character the Lord desires to change within us. It is dangerous and unproductive for us to compare our pace of life and involvement in ministry to others. We cannot be everything to everyone and we will burn out quickly when we don't set limits on ourselves or surrender to the limits God places on us for our good. "It is so freeing as a leader for me to utter the words, "I can't." When we don't respect God's limits in our lives, we will often find ourselves overextended, stressed, and exhausted." (p. 148) Someone who is married has limits placed on them that a single person may not face. We need to be faithful to our "true selves." I was challenged by one of the questions the author poses in this chapter: "Am I being faithful to my God-given talents, my unique story, my weaknesses?" Or am I spreading myself too thin? Later in the chapter, the author writes about growing through our limitations. "Are there limits that God is asking me to break through because they are a result of my character flaws?" (p. 155) I sometimes prefer taking the easy way out and not doing something because I'm not comfortable or it is something that doesn't play to my strengths.Sometimes it's a result of a flaw in my character that causes me to avoid something so as to avoid pain. God may want me to break through a limitation for my good and his glory even if it's not one of my strengths.

 "Which are the limits God is asking me to break through by faith so that others might know and trust him, that I become the person he intends?  And, which of the limits, external or internal, do I need to receive as a gift, as God's invitation for me to surrender in trust to him"? (p. 157) These last two questions challenge me to seek the Lord and ask him to search my heart. Some limits are a gift from the Lord and I need to trust him in my limitations; other limits are a result of flaws in my character and I need to trust him to change patterns in my life for the sake of those around me having the opportunity to know and trust Christ.

"What I want you to know about me as a leader."

MIN 5310
Jenn Blackston
jennifer.mcgarvey@mailbox.ciu.edu
"What I want you to know about me as a leader."
1-6-11

 I have served in various leadership positions over the years and have learned so much about myself and how I relate to others in a team setting. I will share about two of my experiences serving on a team in a leadership position. One took place in undergrad and the other took place during my second year at Columbia International University.

 When I was in undergrad at Toccoa Falls College, I served as secretary of our Students Missions Fellowship group. It was a student led organization and our primary focus was on global and local missions. We helped students who were planning on going overseas for summer mission trips and internships by raising money through different events. We encouraged students who had gone on mission trips and/or internships before to share with our group the things the Lord taught them while they served him overseas or locally.  It was a positive experience for me serving on the team and I especially appreciated the times we would spend in prayer together as a team. We prayed for the students going on trips, but our main focus was praying for one another. Praying together on a regular basis really brought us together and we functioned better as a team when we took the time to uplift one another in prayer. I was one of the team members that observed everything that was going on around me and often kept quiet during meetings. I am grateful for the friendships that were formed as a result of serving on that team. I am still close friends with a few of the team members I served with and I am grateful for our mutual encouragement.

When I was in my second year at CIU, I served as Communications Coordinator on the Grad Life Counsel. We referred to ourselves as the Grad Life Leadership Team. Our primary purpose as a counsel was to provide opportunities for the students in the Graduate School and Seminary to bond through various activities and chapel services. As Communications Coordinator, it was my responsibility to keep the students and faculty informed of what was going on and also to encourage them in their walks with Christ. I love to write and so it was fun for me to write the weekly emails keeping everyone in the loop. I especially loved incorporating Scripture and prayers to help encourage the student body and faculty. Activities are important,but even more important are the relationships formed among students and also their relationships with the Lord. As a team we definitely faced our share of struggles, both within our team and also external situations that took place in the day to day moments of being in seminary. It took us awhile to bond and to learn how to trust each other both as team members and friends. There were times when I honestly wondered if we were going to make it as a team.It took time, but gradually we began to better relate to one each other and in so doing, we were then able to lay a better foundation and began to thrive as a team. I discovered that I am concerned about how everyone is feeling in the group, not just with accomplishing a task. I have a tender heart and I want to make sure that everyone is doing ok and feeling included in the group. It was normal for me to check in with teammates who seemed to be struggling and also to pray with them. We prayed together as a team and I also prayed with one of the girls on a regular basis outside of the group. We were able to be a source of encouragement to one another and we also held each other accountable concerning our attitudes. As a result of praying together, we formed a close friendship and to this day, she is still one of my best friends. Another thing I discovered about myself is that I can become intimidated by people who have dominant personalities. I am often afraid to speak up for fear of being shut down by my teammates. I am afraid of the rejection that could follow if I dare to share a concern or even an insight. I was challenged my one of my teammates to take the risk of speaking out. She also struggled speaking up and so we helped each other in that area. A few times I mustered up the courage to share and found it to be not as difficult as I imagined it would turn out. I grew more confident in speaking up when I had a concern and my teammates appreciated my feedback. I know that is an area where I still could improve and with the Lord's strength, I know I can gain more confidence in that area.

During my time serving on the Grad Life Leadership Team, I became more confident in my abilities as a leader as I allowed the Lord to use the position and my teammates to sharpen and encourage me. One of my favorite experiences serving on the team was when I had the opportunity to lead the entire school in prayer on one of the Prayer Days. One of the things I am most passionate about is prayer, both personal and our intercessory.  Our team was asked to lead one of the Prayer Days. The President of Grad Life asked if any of us wanted to lead the prayer time. I told him I would pray about it and get back to him. I took about a week and spent time in prayer and I also sought counsel from a few close friends. At our next meeting, I informed our president that I would like to take on the challenge of leading the school in prayer. It proved to be both an encouraging and challenging responsibility. I planned and prepared and made sure I was prayed up. I wanted to be prepared; at the same time I wanted the freedom to change things around if the Holy Spirit led me in a different direction. I was humbled and honored to serve the school through the avenue of prayer. Our team really came together that day as we did the things we are gifted in and we also knew the Lord was working in our hearts. I am so thankful for the lessons learned as a result of being on the team. It has been one of the highlights of my time at CIU, so far, and I will always be grateful for the opportunity to serve in that capacity.  

I look forward to more leadership roles in the future and I anticipate great things as I trust the Lord to continue his work in my life in this area. I am excited about being in this class and growing as a leader. I want to be faithful as a believer and as a leader. I desire to grow in confidence as a leader as I learn how to risk rejection for the sake of sharing a concern or insight. I always want to be a leader who cares about others serving alongside with me and to encourage them through talking and praying with them. I believe my concern for others aids my ability to be a good leader. I believe a good leader serves those around him or her with grace, encouragement, loving feedback, and sensitivity to the Spirit working in the group. The Holy Spirit is ultimately the One who guides and directs believers and we must heed His counsel in our lives.